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Family-friendly drag show in Victoria cancelled after violent threats | CBC News

Family-friendly drag show in Victoria cancelled after violent threats | CBC News

Organizers of a family-friendly drag show at a Victoria café have cancelled the event after the café owner says staff were inundated with homophobic and transphobic phone calls.

The monthly Sashay Café drag show was scheduled to go ahead this Saturday at Caffe Fantastico. 

Café owner Ryan Taylor said staff received many hateful calls, but one call on Tuesday turned especially aggressive when the caller threatened to “shoot up the place and everyone in it.”

After that call, Sashay Café organizers decided to cancel the event and the incident was reported to Victoria police. 

Taylor said staff had been logging calls, which he said expressed homophobic sentiments and mischaracterized the event as “trying to groom children to be gay.” 

“Our team was doing its best to try and sort of counter that ignorance and explain that this is a simple dress-up show,” said Taylor. “It’s not by any means lewd or anything but positive.”

He says the threats to his café came from far-right extremists and are reflected by similar scares to pride events in the United States. A 17-year-old Canadian was arrested and charged for threats to commit a mass shooting at a pride event in West Palm Beach, Florida.

Taylor said two of the phone calls logged by staff came from local numbers. 

Victoria police said in a statement they are investigating two separate reports. 

“It is very disappointing to learn of these deeply concerning calls and the impact that they have had on staff, event organizers and those who were looking forward to this event,” said Staff Sgt. Jennifer Ames.

Police say they are keeping café staff and organizers updated and supported.

Taylor says the Sashay Café event, which features performers doing musical numbers in drag, encourages participants to express themselves.

“It’s for people who are looking for an avenue for expression and a safe place,” he said.

Taylor said rising homophobic and transphobic sentiments are a particularly tough blow as people are emerging from a pandemic. 

“To be trying to finally feel like you’re coming out the other side and trying to have some sense of normalcy, an attack like this is really kicking you when you’re down,” he said. 

“It just brings me to tears.” 

While Taylor understands why the event’s organizers would not want to be in the limelight at this time, he hopes for more pride events to lift people’s spirits. 

“To show these perpetrators of hate that it’s not acceptable. They’re not going to win,” he said. 

“They need to be condemned at every single step along the way, and they need to know their attitudes are not tolerable and that they cannot be part of our society.”

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Helping Kids Cope With Violent Events

Helping Kids Cope With Violent Events

The country is once again in mourning after yet another deadly school shooting. Details continue to emerge about the shooting deaths of 19 children and two teachers in Uvalde, Texas. And America’s parents find themselves in a sadly familiar position of having to explain the events to their own children and help them confront fears about violence.

Parents of very young children might be wondering whether they should talk about violent events like the Uvalde shooting at all. But Nilsa Ruiz, associate director of mental health and community initiative at Gads Hill Center, said honesty is the best policy.

“There’s no age too young to talk about these kinds of tragedies. Our brains are sometimes unable to fully process experiences and challenges,” Ruiz said. “Children age 0-5 express their fear by getting closer to their caregiver, either by crying or throwing tantrums. I expect adults and parents to really open and create that dialogue for their children. Talk about how they’re feeling, or just going over certain scenarios.”

Nestor Flores, director of behavioral health initiatives at Pilsen Wellness Center, said an honest approach applies to talking with older children and teenagers as well.

“They’re like sponges, they kind of feel your energy. They can tell when you’re not being genuine. So as a parent if you’re afraid, then I would talk about my fear and have that conversation,” Flores said. “Talk about safety. Remind yourself and your family, how do we make ourselves feel safe again. What do we do? Do we have dinner together? Do we go to church this Sunday? Whatever it takes to make you feel safe again, but mostly it’s that honesty and that transparency.”

Ruiz said that parents should also first attend to their own feelings and fears about traumatic events before shepherding their children through theirs.

“Ask yourself, how much does your child know, and how much do you want to share? Processing the trauma of gun violence can feel incredibly overwhelming,” she said. “Find ways to cope and manage these emotions … you’ve got to remind yourself that your children look at you as role models, so if you practice self-care for yourself, you can do it for them.”

Flores said reports that signs the Uvalde shooter had been experiencing a mental health crisis went ignored are particularly troubling. He urged adults in any child’s life to pay attention to signs of deteriorating mental health and take action.

“Definitely don’t look away from the signs,” he said. “Changes in behavior, they’re isolating, they are self-harming — obviously any of those are a sign of some sort of struggle, it doesn’t have to be that they will be violent, but they are struggling. Things like hurting animals or hurting others or bullying, all those things can conspire to have someone’s mental health deteriorate … It should spur action. Inaction is painful. Look at what we’re witnessing … So choose what discomfort — do you have a conversation that’s uncomfortable, or keep living these experiences?”